As a couple goes through the different stages of their relationship, there may come a point where one partner wants to get married while the other feels like they should move in and / or buy a house. These are both incredibly large commitments, and each has different advantages and disadvantages. The correct answer will be different for each couple in their own situation, but here is a look at some of the things you might consider when you find yourself in a similar situation.
The cost of weddings and homes
There is no doubt that the Weddings costs has increased enormously in recent years. If your relationship has reached the point of considering marriage, you have probably already thought about it your dream wedding and how much it could cost. The cost of a wedding varies widely, but no matter how much you spend on your wedding, once you've spent the money, it's gone. Unlike retirement accounts, houses or other forms of investment, you cannot get this money back.
Buying a home is another big expense, but at least one hope that buying a home will make the money a good investment. Come with a Down payment for a house can be a major achievement and compete with the money needed for a wedding or other major expense.
How to prioritize
As with most things in life, be it financial or otherwise, priorities should matter. There is only so much money and time so you need to decide what is most important to you. Of course, it's a little more complicated when more than one person is involved.
When trying to decide between marriage, a mortgage, or any other big priority, it is best to sit down and have an honest conversation. Talk about the most important things to you and listen carefully to the most important things for your partner. This will help you choose the most important priorities.
What is to be considered
If you're considering getting married or buying a house together, your relationship is likely pretty serious. If you are unwilling to make these two commitments, it may not be a good idea to do too. There are valid reasons for getting married and not rushing to buy a home, but in most cases the opposite is not the case. Buying a home without a formal commitment like getting married can cause problems later on. While you may think your relationship will never break down, it's a good idea to at least discuss this possibility before buying a home together.
So you have it all
If you're planning to get married and buy a home but aren't sure in which order, it's time to prioritize. For most people, getting married and buying a home makes the most sense. And you can have it all, just maybe not all at the same time. With enough money, of course, anything is possible! But when you're in a situation where you only have enough money to get married or buy a house, it's time to prioritize.
Sit down and decide what is most important to you. Perhaps you will decide to get married this year and then save up to buy a house later. You may have found the perfect home, so choose it now and marriage is imminent. Perhaps you can cut the wedding expenses and use that money to pay a down payment on a home. There won't be one right answer for everyone – instead decide what works best for you and your partner. The key to everyone being and staying happy is open and honest communication.
The bottom line
If you are in a relationship, you may be trying to make a choice between marriage or a mortgage. Are you spending your money on the cost of a wedding? Or save up for a down payment on a home? It's a complicated situation that doesn't have one answer that is right in all situations. Instead, sit down with your partner and talk about what is most important to each of you. This will help you make the right decision for both of you.
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Dan Miller (71 posts)
Dan Miller is a freelance writer and founder of PointsWithACrew.com, a website that helps families travel for free / cheap. His home base is in Cincinnati, but he tries to travel the world as much as possible with his wife and 6 children.