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The Moneyist: I advised my household that I boycott Chick-fil-A for supporting anti-LGBTQ points – now they prefer it on Fb and go for lunch there

I am a gay man from a family of 10 siblings and to my knowledge the only gay member of my extended family of cousins. I have been dismayed for several years that some members of my immediate family support Chick-fil-A, the fast food company that is controversial over its positions that place religious freedom above LGBTQ rights. At best, the company's attitude is irrelevant to these special siblings. In the worst case, these positions are a main reason for their support.

Some of them have even gone so far as to post Chick-fil-A on their Facebook page for a few years, although I have made them aware of how much it hurts me. Unlike the above siblings; a couple of my other supporting siblings; as well as some of my cousins; refuse to patronize Chick-fil-A as a sign of solidarity with me and the LGBTQ movement.

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It led me to the painful realization that the most homophobic members of the entire extended family are those with the gay brother. When several siblings are together, the same perpetrators do not hesitate to suggest that we all go out to dinner at Chick-fil-A. Disrespect has created a gap between me and these siblings and made me uncomfortable being around them. I definitely wasn't looking forward to our annual meeting on July 4th.

This situation has been bothering me for at least five years and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

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Dear Bill,

I don't know which is worse: being slapped in the face with a wet fish or slapped in the face with a lightly chopped fried cod fillet served on a warm, buttered Chick-fil-A bun. They're both equally bad, I guess. I feel your pain Unfortunately, people often have to look at the world from someone else's perspective to understand how their behavior and / or comments affect others, and – even when pointed out – prefer to pull masks off a supermarket counter or call employees who are brave enough to work during a pandemic and who report your trip to Chick-fil-A to your family, even though they are aware that it is alienating you.

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If the past year has taught us anything, consumers are more powerful than ever in history. With social media, Americans have a voice and many companies have chosen to listen.

– The moneyist

If the past year has taught us anything, consumers are more powerful than ever in history. With social media, Americans have a voice and many companies have chosen to listen. For example, I don't think the Black Lives Matter movement would have triggered a billing that would have reached the C-suites of American companies if companies hadn't kept an eye on the social justice movement and racial inequalities in America and the other eye on their bottom line. Whatever it takes, I guess. Perhaps this time around, the momentum to act by itself will continue to gain momentum as the Americans question their own white privilege, much like the #MeToo movement did, with heads rolling and politics in the industries changes across the country.

Her immediate concern, however, is another struggle for equality, which is likely to uphold Lady Liberty's ideals and the principles of freedom on which this country is said to have been founded. This last decade has been a time of significant progress for the LGBTQ community in America. Last month, the US Supreme Court ruled that LGBTQ workers are protected from discrimination in the workplace. The court ruled by 6-3 votes that an important provision of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, known as Title VII, that prohibits gender discrimination in the workplace, includes prejudice against LGBT workers. Five years earlier, in May 2015, marriage equality became legal in the United States, a month before my home country Ireland made the same decision through a referendum.

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But where do you and your family stay when you walk past Chick-fil-A and think about a chicken sandwich and fries? America is a divided country, and many dining tables on the fourth weekend in July were also divided. Even without this confusing and polarizing political panorama, the siblings like to push each other's buttons. The more effective the button is, the more likely it is to be pressed. You basically put a big red sign with a Chick-Fil-A logo on your forehead, and I'm sorry you have to endure that. They obviously don't want to know where to eat and where they can't, and they're determined to let you know. They give you a lot of outrage with a subordinate order of passive aggression. Bill, I understand. That is enough to cause indigestion.

I'm not saying that what they're doing is right or compassionate. It would be friendlier and easier to eat there when you're not around and avoid checking in on Facebook when they're there. More importantly, it would also be more fraternal and sisterly. They see their support for Chick-fil-A as a thoughtless blow to your freedom to be who you are and to live with the same legal protection and social acceptance as everyone else. I imagine they are told where to spend their money, which is a violation of their freedom to order a 500 calorie, 1640 milligram sodium chick-fil-a deluxe chicken sandwich. You could argue that this is your right as an American. Let them turn off and get rid of them. If it wasn't Chick-fil-A, it would probably be something else.

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It would be friendlier and easier to eat there when you're not around and avoid checking in on Facebook when they're there. More importantly, it would also be more fraternal and sisterly.

– The moneyist

People are what they eat. And if you want to eat Chick-fil-A, that's your prerogative. For example, if you want to patronize Amazon
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Instead of independent bookstores, they are also entitled to do so. You have the right to tell them that it would mean a lot to you if they didn't buy groceries at this place. Many thanks. That is the easy part. The hard part is waiting for your answer and being prepared for an answer that you may not like. You have spelled out your case. If you don't get the reaction you hoped for, you have to let it go. Otherwise you will be crazy about it. Today it's Chick-Fil-A. Tomorrow, your controversy might be over the Lincoln Center Paul Taylor Dance Company, named after David H. Koch, the late billionaire who donated money for many conservative purposes.

I admire that you stand by your beliefs and your willingness to express yourself. You put your heart on the line. It takes courage. In addition, you are in a vulnerable position. It doesn't always feel good, but it's strong to be able to do it. However, you are playing God if you believe you have the power or the right to control where you spend your money. As you see it: it's their breakfast party and they'll enjoy their carbohydrates if they want to. The restaurant has made some efforts to address these issues, most likely because they see the wind of social change and expand and want to reach more customers. For many LGBTQ people, it can sound hollow and be too late. I understand that too. Such changes are hardly, if at all, completely altruistic.

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Last November, the Georgia-based chicken sandwich chain announced it would stop making multi-year donations to two religious organizations that have reportedly made and / or supported controversial statements about homosexuality and same-sex marriage. The company said it would "deepen its donations to a smaller number of education, homelessness, and hunger organizations" and provided $ 9 million to organizations such as Junior Achievement USA, willingness to work and financial literature promote skills for students up to grade 12 and Covenant House International, which reaches 70,000 homeless, out of control, and trafficked young people each year.

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Concentrate on the people in your life who support you and make you feel good, and comfort yourself by living your life according to your principles.

– The moneyist

A Chick-fil-A spokeswoman told MarketWatch: “Chick-fil-A is a restaurant company that focuses on food, service and hospitality without a social or political agenda. We want our restaurants to offer a welcoming environment to all guests. “Instead of praising Chick-fil-A for its inclusiveness, however, a lot of people have on Twitter
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– including some who identified themselves as Christian and conservative – broke the chain to face a "left-wing mob". You can't please everyone. They also wanted Chick-fil-A to do what they wanted. How dare Chick-fil-A draw that thin red line between two Americas? Will these customers boycott Chick-fil-A after the company stops supporting these organizations? Maybe they will. Maybe they won't. If so, it's none of our business if they go to Popeyes, Bojangles or KFC
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instead.

What is important here is what you do. Don't react to your siblings. Hide their Facebook feeds if it helps. We all have a family of origin and a select family of loved friends. Concentrate on the people in your life who support you and make you feel good, and comfort yourself by living your life according to your principles. Ultimately, we only have to live with ourselves. When you look in the mirror in the morning, you know that because of you, you are who you are: a man who believes that companies should be held accountable for their actions. You can use your paperback to make a small change. As we have seen, it seems to be working. Not everyone will agree, and that's fine. Keep on being you and the rest will take care of themselves.

You can email The Moneyist at qfottrell@marketwatch.com with all financial and ethical issues related to coronavirus

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